Monday, December 15, 2008

The Worm

Max had his 3rd grade Christmas concert (wait, maybe I should say "Holiday" Concert, you know how political correctness is taking over every aspect of our lives) last Tuesday. All I can say, I have NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD. They sang several songs, and one of the songs was called Blitzen Boogie. Well, Max and another boy were chosen to be the reindeer who dance while the song is being sung. I know he was nervous, and I still can't believe he agreed to do it. IF you know Max at all, you know that a year ago, this is something that he would have never ever even thought about doing. I was so excited.



So they begin singing, and out comes Max and his buddy, bopping along. They've both got those goofy embarrassed grins pasted to their faces, and looked a little unsure. Then, out of no where, Max started, shall we say, "Breakin' it Down". He was doing the Saturday Night Fever Dance, and the Pulp Fiction Dance that Uma Thurman did with her fingers over her eyes. Then he started doing the "Walk like an Egyptian" thing. It was great. The crowd was loving it. I've got my camera at the ready and I'm snapping away, when all of a sudden, Max looks over at his music teacher, nods his head, and busts out the WORM. The WORM people! It was AWESOME! The crowd went CRAZY! They were all cheering and laughing. It almost brought me to tears. I was so proud. I wanted to stand up and tell everyone "that's my boy!".



I love love love that my children are individuals. That they're not afraid to be themselves. Grace has absolutely no self consciousness. She is totally her own person and isn't afraid to sing a song in the middle of the grocery store or show me a new dance she's made up. Max used to be so quiet and shy and the one on the sidelines, but he has broken out of that shell in the best way! He did the worm!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

All I want for Christmas....

If someone asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I would have no answer to give. I have absolutely no idea what i want, what could possibly make me happy. I know I'm not getting anything, and that is perfectly OK with me. I want my kids to get what they want and deserve. I want my nieces and nephews to be blessed with a great Christmas too. I want to win the lottery, I want to be married to my prince charming (that's a laugh huh?). I want to live in a house with a wrap-a-round porch. I want all kinds of things that most people want but don't ever expect to get.

I complain too much, and do the woe-is me bit way too much. In truth, I'm really very blessed. I have a great family, a few really good friends who I would move heaven and earth for, and I live in a country where I don't have to worry about wars in the street, or being persecuted for showing too much skin. What's not to be happy about? (Can you tell I'm having an optimistic day? Just wait, I'm sure I'll be back to "glass half empty" thinking soon enough.)

On a side note; I got out some of the Christmas decorations last night, put up our little Charlie Brown Tree and was trying to decide where to "hang" our stockings when inspiration struck. I decided we needed a fire place. So I got out some poster size paper that I have, taped four pieces to the wall, and we painted a fire place, complete with a "wood" mantel that our stockings our now hanging from. I figure those are the things my kids might remember about Christmas. I might not be able to get them everything they want, but boy do I make it interesting. I think tonight we'll start painting decorations on our sliding glass door.

Love you all!

-Jess

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Hilarious Fun

video

This video is great! I had so much fun doing it, I'm totally

going on the website to make more!

- Jess

Friday, November 21, 2008

I wish my boobs were bigger

I've never been big on women who get those giant fake boobies that are hard as rocks and start to look square after a while. But, I want bigger boobs. That is my dream. To have boobs that look like boobs. Not boobs that look like silly putty and can be pulled and twisted and tied in a knot around my back. My boobs used to be so pretty. I could go with out a bra, and they would stay right where they were supposed to. Now, after two kids, I have tribal monkey boobs.

When I was pregnant, My boobs grew to an enormous size. I didn't realize the benefit cocoa butter would have had. I was stupid, just so enamored with my giant chest that I didn't take the time to think about what would happen when they deflate. I went from a nice "C" to Boobs so big i don't think they could be measured. I was wearing an XXL sports bra and they were still spilling out the top and the sides. Then, the babies came, and the boobies deflated like a popped balloon.

I'm not saying i want giant boobs, but a nice size C would be lovely. Heck, I don't even have to have implants, just a lift would be nice, they might be smaller, but at least they'd be up where they're supposed to be instead of two inches from my belly button.

Oh well. I guess it could be worse. I could have a third eye, or only one butt cheek, or something really defective. I have saggy boobs. Do they make support groups for that?

Have a good weekend, and if you have perky boobs, appreciate them and thank God.

-Jess

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

It's HUMP Day

I think that Hump Day should mean we get to stop whatever we're doing and go home and Hump. Well, if I had someone at home to hump, maybe i would. But I don't. Hump Day is the worst name. Whoever decided to call it that did not think ahead. They did not have a dirty mind or a potty mouth, and they did not count on me thinking of someone humping every time I hear the phrase. It always makes me giggle like a 12 year old idiot. Hey, take away the 12 years and I'm still an idiot. A just turned 31 goober who giggles when someone says hump, or fart, or boob.

Yep, I'm hard up. Sad isn't it. But actually kind of funny.

So, what should it be called, instead of Hump-Day (giggle giggle)? Any suggestions? I've got one. How about just plain old Wednesday? I think that is a wonderful idea.

-Jess

Monday, November 17, 2008

Happy Monday?

I hope every one's weekend went well. Mine? Not so good. I think I've got a sinus infection mixed with a cold and some type of deadly vomiting thing. I swear, I threw up so much Saturday i stopped breathing at one point. It was insane. It seems like I only get sick on the weekends. Why can't i get sick on the weekdays and use a sick day when I'm actually sick? That would be nice.

Anyhoo, I'm feeling better now, I think. I can stand upright and eat solid foods, so that's a plus.

Question of the Day;

Have you ever been in a room with about 300 other people and feel like you are one of the few who are in on the joke?

Love you Love you

Jess

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap.......

I can not get that song out of my head. Do not ask me how or why it's stuck up in there, but it is, and now it will not go away. "Oh i wish i was a little bar of soap, bar of soap. I could slippy slippy slidey over Jessie big white hiney......" URGH!

So now maybe it'll be stuck in someone elses head too, and you can share in my misery.

Love ya like a fat kid loves cake!

-Jess