Hilarious Fun

This video is great! I had so much fun doing it, I'm totally

going on the website to make more!

- Jess

I wish my boobs were bigger

I've never been big on women who get those giant fake boobies that are hard as rocks and start to look square after a while. But, I want bigger boobs. That is my dream. To have boobs that look like boobs. Not boobs that look like silly putty and can be pulled and twisted and tied in a knot around my back. My boobs used to be so pretty. I could go with out a bra, and they would stay right where they were supposed to. Now, after two kids, I have tribal monkey boobs.

When I was pregnant, My boobs grew to an enormous size. I didn't realize the benefit cocoa butter would have had. I was stupid, just so enamored with my giant chest that I didn't take the time to think about what would happen when they deflate. I went from a nice "C" to Boobs so big i don't think they could be measured. I was wearing an XXL sports bra and they were still spilling out the top and the sides. Then, the babies came, and the boobies deflated like a popped balloon.

I'm not saying i want giant boobs, but a nice size C would be lovely. Heck, I don't even have to have implants, just a lift would be nice, they might be smaller, but at least they'd be up where they're supposed to be instead of two inches from my belly button.

Oh well. I guess it could be worse. I could have a third eye, or only one butt cheek, or something really defective. I have saggy boobs. Do they make support groups for that?

Have a good weekend, and if you have perky boobs, appreciate them and thank God.

-Jess

It's HUMP Day

I think that Hump Day should mean we get to stop whatever we're doing and go home and Hump. Well, if I had someone at home to hump, maybe i would. But I don't. Hump Day is the worst name. Whoever decided to call it that did not think ahead. They did not have a dirty mind or a potty mouth, and they did not count on me thinking of someone humping every time I hear the phrase. It always makes me giggle like a 12 year old idiot. Hey, take away the 12 years and I'm still an idiot. A just turned 31 goober who giggles when someone says hump, or fart, or boob.

Yep, I'm hard up. Sad isn't it. But actually kind of funny.

So, what should it be called, instead of Hump-Day (giggle giggle)? Any suggestions? I've got one. How about just plain old Wednesday? I think that is a wonderful idea.

-Jess

Happy Monday?

I hope every one's weekend went well. Mine? Not so good. I think I've got a sinus infection mixed with a cold and some type of deadly vomiting thing. I swear, I threw up so much Saturday i stopped breathing at one point. It was insane. It seems like I only get sick on the weekends. Why can't i get sick on the weekdays and use a sick day when I'm actually sick? That would be nice.

Anyhoo, I'm feeling better now, I think. I can stand upright and eat solid foods, so that's a plus.

Question of the Day;

Have you ever been in a room with about 300 other people and feel like you are one of the few who are in on the joke?

Love you Love you

Jess

Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap.......

I can not get that song out of my head. Do not ask me how or why it's stuck up in there, but it is, and now it will not go away. "Oh i wish i was a little bar of soap, bar of soap. I could slippy slippy slidey over Jessie big white hiney......" URGH!

So now maybe it'll be stuck in someone elses head too, and you can share in my misery.

Love ya like a fat kid loves cake!

-Jess

Bored Bored Bored

Have you ever been so bored that you feel clawing your eyes out would be more interesting than staring at the monitor for one more second?

That's how I feel right now.

-Jess

Birthday Cake

Just wanted to share the awesome cake my co-worker Tim had waiting for me this morning. I guess I guilted him into it, i swear i didn't mean to. It really made my day when i walked in and saw this cake and the card from everyone here at work.

Thanks Guys!

-Jess